Boys II Men

Ever heard the phrase “raised by wolves”?  If you haven’t, it’s referring to how some people act like wild animals as if they were born and reared in the wilderness where the rules of society don’t apply. We all know a human can’t really be raised by animals, but if you stop think about the concept it actually takes place with more traditional upbringings.  A baby born in Spain to Spanish speaking parents will inevitably growing up learning the Spanish customs and language.  The same goes for anyone born anywhere.  Caucasians who grow up in a predominantly African-American culture will act and speak as witnessed in their daily environment.  Some think it’s an act but our minds and bodies are made to gradually adapt to our surroundings.

So, that’s the real answer to what has happened to modern generations, especially young men.  They can only mimic what the come in contact with the most.  If a boy’s father is more interested in Facebook that seeing their child’s face, the boy will most likely seek attention from other sources or through undesirable behavior.  If you are verbally abusive toward your son’s mother, there is a good chance that he will become verbally abusive to other females.  If you call out sick from work when you actually well, your son will think that is okay and there lack responsibility in his own life.  Our kids are watching us all.  Even if you don’t have children, there is still some child who has observed, mentally recorded you behavior and will one day attempt to re-enact it.

We as adults have the right to do what we want within reason.  That is a part of our civil rights.  However, if real men don’t show boys how to become real men then they will remain boys for an indefinite period of time.  If real women don’t show girls how to become real women then there is no incentive for men to hold them to high esteem and value.  It’s a give-give situation; the more you have to offer, the more others will offer you.

Having something to offer is more than having money in the bank or and extra car in the yard.  It’s having responsibility, integrity, reliability, respect, accountability, education, willingness, and skills among many other positive attributes that are the traits of a true man or woman.  As a man, I am specifically challenging all men to raise our son and stop relying on their mothers to do our jobs.  Spend as much time with your sons as possible, teaching them about life’s abundant rewards and harsh realities.  Show them how to build strong minds and bodies through reading, writing and physical activity.  I run into 12 year-old boys who don’t know how to throw a football or hold a hammer correctly and as their father, I would be embarrassed.  That means out of 4,380 days no one has taken the time to show them “man stuff”.

Boys II Men may be a singing group, but it’s also what we should be aiming to make of our sons.  Real Men!  I’m not perfect and I’m sure there are many things I would have, could have, and should be doing with my son, who is a now a pre-adolescence boy.  However, when he becomes a man, he will not be able to tell his son that I didn’t try.  I’m happy with that.

--Linwood R. Butler, Jr.    

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