It's Always Today: April 2011

April 26, 2011

Boys II Men

Ever heard the phrase “raised by wolves”? If you haven’t, it’s referring to how some people act like wild animals as if they were born and reared in the wilderness where the rules of society don’t apply. We all know a human can’t really be raised by animals, but if you stop think about the concept it actually takes place with more traditional upbringings. A baby born in Spain to Spanish speaking parents will inevitably growing up learning the Spanish customs and language. The same goes for anyone born anywhere. Caucasians who grow up in a predominantly African-American culture will act and speak as witnessed in their daily environment. Some think it’s an act but our minds and bodies are made to gradually adapt to our surroundings.

So, that’s the real answer to what has happened to modern generations, especially young men. They can only mimic what the come in contact with the most. If a boy’s father is more interested in Facebook that seeing their child’s face, the boy will most likely seek attention from other sources or through undesirable behavior. If you are verbally abusive toward your son’s mother, there is a good chance that he will become verbally abusive to other females. If you call out sick from work when you actually well, your son will think that is okay and there lack responsibility in his own life. Our kids are watching us all. Even if you don’t have children, there is still some child who has observed, mentally recorded you behavior and will one day attempt to re-enact it.

We as adults have the right to do what we want within reason. That is a part of our civil rights. However, if real men don’t show boys how to become real men then they will remain boys for an indefinite period of time. If real women don’t show girls how to become real women then there is no incentive for men to hold them to high esteem and value. It’s a give-give situation; the more you have to offer, the more others will offer you.

Having something to offer is more than having money in the bank or and extra car in the yard. It’s having responsibility, integrity, reliability, respect, accountability, education, willingness, and skills among many other positive attributes that are the traits of a true man or woman. As a man, I am specifically challenging all men to raise our son and stop relying on their mothers to do our jobs. Spend as much time with your sons as possible, teaching them about life’s abundant rewards and harsh realities. Show them how to build strong minds and bodies through reading, writing and physical activity. I run into 12 year-old boys who don’t know how to throw a football or hold a hammer correctly and as their father, I would be embarrassed. That means out of 4,380 days no one has taken the time to show them “man stuff”.

Boys II Men may be a singing group, but it’s also what we should be aiming to make of our sons. Real Men! I’m not perfect and I’m sure there are many things I would have, could have, and should be doing with my son, who is a now a pre-adolescence boy. However, when he becomes a man, he will not be able to tell his son that I didn’t try. I’m happy with that.

--Linwood R. Butler, Jr.

Take 60 seconds to visit the fan page for my upcoming book titled, "It's Always Today - Change Your Entire Life In Just 24 Hours" and hit the "LIKE" button to stay informed about its release and other special news. www.facebook.com/itsalwaystoday

April 22, 2011

Positively Negative

Are you wondering how the words positive and negative can exist in the same context? Well believe it or not, you’ve been a participating factor in their coexistence. It’s true. Words have power. The amount of power they have depends on their definition, the person who transmits them, and how they are received. For instance, the word but depreciates the statement that precedes it. “He’s a really nice guy but he just got out of jail.” He just got out of jail but he is a really nice guy.” See how both statements are essentially the same yet one may cause you prejudge him while the other may cause you have compassion for him.

There are many statements that each of us makes on a daily basis that express our lack of faith in what is possible when we focus our efforts in the correct manner. Sayings like “things could be worse”, “it is what it is”, and “at least you have a job”, are all statements meant to be positive but are actually positively negative. Let’s explore why this is.

Things could be worse. True. Things could be worse if you believe or accept that things could not be better. Remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Whatever happens to you that you think is worse is still better in someone else’s situation. Prepare against the worst and plan for the best.

It is what it is. True. It is what it is but is that how it has to be? When you say it is what it is, you have either accepted that it is not possible to make a positive change or you have given up on your efforts to do so.

At least you have a job. True. At least you have a job to help support yourself and family. Is that where it ends? Is that all life is about? No! Having a job is an excellent thing. However, we were put here to progress and prosper. Whether you are born in a cave or born to Bill Gates, if you have the drive to succeed, it can happen. The phrase at least means just that – the bare minimum. Once you accept the least as okay, you will surely throttle your aspirations of success. A job should be a means to build a successful life experience for you and the world around you. If you are not happy where you work or not working in your field of purpose, continue to do so as long as absolutely necessary. In the meantime, utilize every dollar, moment, resource, and opportunity to transform your life into what you really want it to be.

Beware of how you view and convey your views regarding your possessions and life situations. Your words and perspectives have a direct effect on your actions. Stay positive and blessed.

-- Linwood R. Butler, Jr.

April 18, 2011

Would You Rather Make a Dollar or a Difference?

If you’re like me, naturally, you want to do both. But…if you had to pick one and forsake the other, which would it be? We all know you can survive without money but you can do so much more than survive if you have it. However, having money only benefits the person who has it unless they have the conviction to use it to make a difference.

I often hear statements like love don’t pay the bills, which to an extent is the truth. The emotion love, itself, doesn’t pay the bills, but being loved can cause your bills to get paid. Underprivileged citizens, victims of crimes and natural disasters, and those who may have lost their employment all attract support from friends, family, and strangers. Of course you have to have something yourself before you can assist anyone else. Therefore, making a dollar is very important.

Money isn’t the only way we can make a difference in this world. We all have some to offer whether it is our time, our talent, or our treasures. Sharing our gifts with others should be our desire and our duty. Everyone needs help in some capacity. If you are in a position to be a catalyst for positive change you should take the liberty to do so. I hear the term “self-made millionaire”, but no one can truly do it alone.

The bottom line is that it takes a dollar and a difference to keep the world rotating smoothly. Explore ways to balance your money–making efforts with you difference-making actions and you’ll changes many lives, including your own.

Linwood R. Butler, Jr.

Take a moment to visit the Facebook fan page for my upcoming book titled, "It's Always Today - Change Your Entire Life In Just 24 Hours" and hit the "LIKE" button to stay informed as the book launce approaches. www.facebook.com/itsalwaystoday

April 12, 2011

Comfortable or Complacent?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable. Even when we die we want to rest in peace. While alive, we like Sleep Number beds, Snuggie blankets, deep tissue massages, Dr. Scholl's gel insoles, 18-Hour bras, LazyBoy EZ chairs – if it’s comfortable, we want it.

Has being comfortable impaired our drive and ambition? Has it eliminated our hunger for improvement and our pursuit of absolute greatness? Our ancestors endured many struggles from wars to slavery, famines to stock market crashes, social injustices to natural disasters. All of those hardships made them stronger as humans and more valuable as members of society. Parents often say that they want their kids to have it better than they did. They don’t want their offspring to struggle and endure the problems and setbacks that, coincidentally, were the very things that made those parents the strong survivors that they were.

The world nowadays is based on convenience and comfort. Modern generations need to remember that strength is only gained by perseverance, pushing past what you currently are aware you can handle. To put this in perspective, bodybuilders use a spotter which is someone to make sure they don’t hurt themselves while they lift heavy weight. No spotter is necessary during warm-up sets because the weight is light and they are aware that they can handle it with no problem. When they begin to lift weight which is beyond the load or the number of repetitions they’ve previously done, they use a spotter. Even with the spotter’s help they still strain and struggle to lift the heavy load. If they never lift heavy then they will never struggle, however, they will never get stronger either.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with being comfortable but realize that resting at all times can weaken your body and mind. Without testing the limits of your abilities you may eventually become worthless in the eyes of society, although you should always have self-worth. Stay thirsty for new knowledge and physical challenges as they will inevitably make you a better you.

-- Linwood R. Butler, Jr.

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April 8, 2011

Does Stress Control How You Roll?

The hustle and bustle -- the daily rat race -- the price of life; our increasingly busy society has many monikers. However, if not handled effectively, it can be summed up with one word: stress. Stress is an energy that does not posses its own form or power until it assumes a host. Technically, stress is only imaginary. It exists on in the mind even though the effects of stress are evident in the physical body. I used the word imaginary because the situations that cause stress are subjective to the person involved. In most cases, stress is created from fear of not meeting expectations that are set forth. This is why unexpected occurrences often increase levels of stress since they are hindrances to meeting existing deadlines, quotas, or objectives.

So how do we deal with such formidable opposition to our otherwise smooth sail through life? The answer is perspective and precaution. As long as we are alive we will all have our share of ups and downs, wrongs and rights, good times and bad. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” That’s Newton’s third law of motion which contextually applies to physical masses, yet, is also applicable to our lives as well. Our lives are always in motion; moving in, out, around, and about. With all of this movement, it’s easy to see how one can become overwhelmed with all that needs to be done in our 24 hour time allotment. We have to learn how to use perspective to our advantage and precaution as weapon.

Perspective is often confused with perception. Both words mean the way we see things. The difference is that perspective is a choice. Perception is what you interpret or believe to be the case. Put on some dirty, weathered clothing along with a baseball cap turned backward, then go to the Mercedes lot and start browsing. On your watch, time how long it takes to gain some attention from a sales person. After he comes over, tell him you love the car and would like to take it for a spin. Every salesperson is different so I won’t prejudge what the specific answer to that question would be. However, browse the same car lot wearing a suit, clean cut and shaven, holding your Blackberry smartphone. Do you think your experience would be the same? Probably not. The salesman is using perception to gauge the level of service he plans to provide. If you reveal that you are a dressed-down millionaire or a well-dressed vagrant, the strategy changes immediately. Perception can be, and is often, incorrect.

You can choose to view people, places, things, and situations in any manner you choose. This is perspective (which is also one of the conceptions discussed in my book, “It’s Always Today”). One of the most famous analogies for perspective is the half-full or half-empty drinking glass. The amount of liquid does change no matter how you view it. What changes is your strategy. The glass either needs to be filled or finished. Perspective can help you as mush as it can harm you. Anything can be seen from a different angle than your current take on it. Thus the reason that a job, spouse, children, social environment, money, and many other things that cause stress for some seem to bring joy to others. These people of the latter make the most out of the hand they are dealt by looking on the bright side. This is not always an easy task. Do your best to think positive, even in a seemingly bad situation. By doing so you will find that stress will return to its rightful, imaginary place.

Precaution is one of the greatest weapons in the war on stress. Surprises are a major cause of stress as they add to your already overflowing daily expectations. While no one can be prepared for everything, being cautious goes a long way toward avoiding surprises and stressful situations. There is such a thing as being overly cautious which can hinder your progress in achieving your goals. You must learn to leverage the risk you take against what you are trying to win and willing to lose. Then, whether you win or lose, you are better able to deal with the outcome of your moves.

The problem with stress is that it causes us to think, say, and do things that we otherwise would not. Some of these things include swearing, yelling, slamming things, crying, fighting, aggressive driving, and a host of others. Stress breaks us down from the inside out, affecting our relationships, performance, and overall health. Simply changing our perspective and not allowing stress to control how we roll, we and reclaim ownership of our lives. The world is full of surprises; prepare well and prosper.

-- Linwood R .Butler Jr.

April 5, 2011

Username and Password

It’s 2011 and if you’ve so much as touched a computer, even if only while dusting, you know what a username and password are; at least as far as technology goes. A username is a word or phrase used to identify someone when logging into an application on a computer. A password is a secret word or phrase helps to prevent unauthorized access to the application or information.

It’s called a username because the person signing into the application is the user; they want to use that particular application for a purpose. Knowing the correct password allows them access to use the system that would otherwise be unavailable to them. A password is a simply a security measure.

There are those who choose to use other people for their purpose. While this is essentially the definition of networking, I am referring to the misusing of people. I have associates that I know only call me because of what I can do for them. Beware of the people you call your friends as some of them are only in your life to use you. They try different passwords until they gain access to your possessions and/or assistance. We should be willing to help our fellow man with what we have, however, being used is not a good feeling. Take note of what people are able to offer if it seems they are always the beneficiary of your kindness. If you are a user, attempt to balance what you give with what you receive. You’ll find that people are more willing to be a real friend than just your sponsor.

-- Linwood R. Butler, Jr.

April 1, 2011

Preservation vs. Reparation

Nothing on Earth lasts forever. Even if it does, you won’t be here to verify it. With that said, each of us has an individual responsibility to do what we can to maintain ourselves, hopefully extending the period of time that we are alive. Those who take good precautionary care of their bodies and educate their minds generally live longer, more active lives than those who do not. However, in life there are no guarantees. Eating right and exercising will help with your desire for longevity, but many other factors, events, and circumstances can dramatically shorten your lifespan or even end it abruptly.

Regardless of the odds, we must give ourselves the best chance for healthy life continuance. Our families need us around. Our friends want us around. Our jobs depend on us for success. We don’t want to let any of them down, but what can we do about it? Surely our Creator is the only one who truly controls life and death. Well, while that is true, we were created to be free-thinking and self-healing organisms. If only we would do what is required to promote the self-healing process, we could live as long as we want. This may sound far fetched to some and to a degree it is. The fact that there are so many things that work against the self-healing process is the catalyst to the belief that longevity is a fluke.

So why is preservation better than reparation? That’s simple. Reparation means to restore to good condition. The need to restore something indicates that its condition has deteriorated to an unfavorable state. Preservation means to maintain the current state of something, minimizing the possibility of injury, malfunction, and disrepair. Naturally, preservation should be your obvious choice.

As we mature, our lives become filled with things that require more of our time and attention. This makes living a healthy lifestyle seemingly impossible. I’ve often heard people say, “I don’t have time for that” or “I can’t rest, I work two jobs.” Then, when their body breaks down landing them in the hospital, they have no choice but to make time. We’ve all seen it happen before. So the question we need to ask ourselves is, why wait until it gets to that point? If we have good health now, why not maintain it? We shouldn’t let pride or possessions prevent us from preserving our well-being. Good wealth is useless without good health.

Preservation is a choice. We must decide whether value-sizing our combo meal now is worth the possibility of taking blood pressure medication later. We must choose whether smoking cigarettes today is as pleasurable as the oxygen tank we may have to lug around in the future. No one can predict the future, but each of our present actions are what shape it. Repair is much harder, costlier, and time consuming than preventative maintenance. We must replace the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” thinking with “if it ain’t broke, keep it that way.” Make preservation a goal and reparation a resort. Take care of yourselves.

-- Linwood Butler, Jr.